I had a good Caucasian male friend that I used to hang out with. He was successful, smart and fun. We never had a sexual relationship but we had a strong bond that attracted us to each other. I wasn’t sexually or physically attracted to him as I’m sure I could have laid in bed next to him completely naked and gone to sleep. Of course I never did that. I was attracted to him on an intellectual level. It was sapiosexual for me and we stayed friends for years.
My dad used to say it was impossible for a man and woman to be friends. He said somebody is attracted to somebody. At first I thought that was just ignorance because I felt like I had complete control over myself but on some level, he was right, especially from a man’s perspective.
Chris Rock says:
“You know what’s the cool thing about women? Women get to have platonic friends. He’s my pal, he’s my bud, he’s my platonic friend. I love him like a brother. he’s my bud my platonic friend~~
Men don’t have platonic friends okay? we just have women we haven’t fucked yet. As soon as I figure this out, I’m in there! I mean we got some platonic friends, we all do. I mean I got some platonic friends, but they are all by accident. Every platonic friend I got was some woman I was trying to fuck , I made a wrong turn somewhere, and ended up in the friend zone. Oh no, I’m in the friend zone! Women keep platonic friends forever. Why? Cos you never know! That’s right.They came to the conference every six month , what happen to Pam? She thinks you cute! But they keep them platonic friends forever why? cos you never know. You know what a platonic friend is to a woman? It’s like a dick in a glass case. In case of emergency , break open glass!”
“A 2012 study found in the majority of opposite-sex friendships, there’s at least a low level of attraction. Men reported more attraction and a stronger desire to date their female friends than women did their male friends. These men were also more likely to overestimate how attracted their platonic female friends were to them, while women underestimated how attractive they were to their male friends. The researchers noted the more attracted a person was to their platonic friend, the less satisfied they were with their current romantic relationship.”
In my experience, there has been some level of attraction in the friendship when it involves a man and women. I also think that if a woman lets down her guards, it would most definitely lead to a sexual one.
When I was hanging out with the Hawaiian, I was scared of losing my friend. Even though I was really attracted to him both sexually and intellectually. I wanted him to be my man but I was more interested in him never leaving me. Its an eye opening realization because to me our friendship meant way more than bumping uglies for the night.
So can men and women be Just FRIENDS? Yes and No.
Some can. Some can’t. Some struggle to keep it platonic, while others have sex and decide they want to remain friends. Some friends become lovers and some lovers become friends. I think it’s possible to have a long lasting friendship with the opposite sex if they can manage to control the sexual urges. Otherwise, its called something else.