How Not To Be The Crazy Bitch

I know what it’s like. I’ve been there. It was before the Hawaiian guy. This guy was Korean and black and going to school to be a concert pianist. I met him when he was a bartender and I was a weekend cocktail waitress at a small bar in Mount Adams, Ohio. When I first saw him I thought what the heck is he? He was cute but his face wasn’t what got my attention. He had the swagger of a celebrity. He was very popular in that area. Even though we were only in our early 20’s, I saw our whole life together. We dated for 10 months then it was over.

For the next three years I was a mess. I moved to Chicago but continued to go back-and-forth to Cincinnati to be with him. I went from being the girlfriend to the rotating one night stand because I didn’t understand that he didn’t want to be with me. He wanted to build his career and be a dog in the street. I just wanted to be with him. I was in love with the thought of him. I chased and chased. I was a “crazy bitch”.

Men are deathly afraid of  “crazy bitches”. Apparently, more afraid than we would ever imagine.  Have you seen how many sites are dedicated to men about crazy women? There are several blogs for men about how to spot one. If you happen to get into a situation their advice is always “Run”.  

Here are a few ways to spot a “crazy bitch:

  • Overly attached too soon; seems to have loads of free time and no real friends to speak of.
  • Going straight to something really kinky.
  • I have always noticed chicks that post those dramatic facebook meme/quotes/pictures. Example: “Sometimes 2 people need to be lost in order to find each other again” with a background pic of a sunset…. Yea, those bitches are crazy.
  • When she leaves 11 voice mails in a two hour period.
  • If she plays the victim constantly, too well, she isn’t the victim.
  • “Everyone is against me” is a fucking great way to tell if a bitch is crazy
I know some girls that don’t know they are displaying crazy behavior. I try to break it to them. I try, delicately to tell them that the man they are losing their mind over has literally “boned out”. You were done after that one night. I try to tell them but it’s hard because they don’t want to know. I get it but if you really want someone to take you seriously then you can’t be losing it after shit don’t go your way. So I am here to save you from yourself.

Here are my 9 tips of how to avoid the crazy bitch zone:

  1. Do some personal development. Buy a book that will help you expand and become a better version of yourself. You have to “know that you are enough”.
  2. Wait to have sex… Seriously. If you like this dude then make him wait. You can do it. Don’t worry about him not liking you because he thinks you are playing. Who cares how old you are. Wait till he gets to know you. That is how you avoid the hormone rage.
  3. Work on your Mojo: Date multiple guys at a time. If you like one of them, then having more than one will give you a cool demeanor. You’ll feel sexy not anxious or obsessive.
  4. Buy a dildo. There is no shame having a little or “big” friend if you need to take the edge off. Visit the myriad of online shops or if you’re daring just pop into some local Adult store.
  5. Be busy but not too busy: Get a hobby that makes you happy… No dude should be your everything. If he is, you are crazy.
  6. Have some girlfriends that you can chat about all the details of your dating life. This way, you won’t be tempted to call, text and think about him constantly.
  7. Have a beauty regime, get regular mani/pedis,meditate, try a yoga or modern dance class, and schedule a massage.
  8. Be interesting. Travel. Even a short trip will give you something interesting to talk about when you go out with him. Also, you appear very “put together” when you have a life.
  9. Most important… Maintain a full, happy and fun life.

Love doesn’t hurt but the feeling of “lost” feels like shit. Keep working on yourself, the right one will come along. But only when you are ready for him.

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