Timing Isn’t Everything But It’s Something

Timing isn’t everything but its certainly something especially for a man. Many women think they are ready for a serious relationship from birth but for men timing has some bearing. Even more if he lives in one of the bigger cities such as New York, Los Angeles or Chicago. It is important that a man goes through experiences in life before he settles down and calls someone his one and only. Even if he doesn’t realize it. Timing may involve both the luck of being in optimal circumstances at the right time, as well as the skill of being smart enough to recognize such circumstances. There are more than a few reasons why women need to know this.  I met my first love when I was 26 and he was 23 years old. I was so in love, I thought I was ready to settle down and have his children. I soon realized that he really had no life experience at all. He was a gentleman, considerate and had a great upbringing. He wasn’t ready.

In a man’s 20’s, he can go from being the sweet, nice, young man that was raised by awesome parents through the self absorbed – immature stage and back. Its not his right, but if he needs to run around, run through women, be disappointed, fall in love, fall out of love, have a one night stand or whatever it should probably happen in his 20’s. Assuming he makes it through all that and is ready to settle down in his early 30’s then great. These days, I don’t count on it. Too much instant gratification, online dating, a million distractions and women making it too easy for them. This behavior could fly past their 20’s well into their 40’s or later. Some guys skip that stage all together. Some get tired of that lifestyle quickly. Some guys remain immature for a lifetime. You have to become good at detecting which kind a guy you are dealing with. He may be ready to settle down in his 30’s, but if he’s extending his youth, then don’t count on him committing right away.

I am not discounting that women go through the same stages, but it seems that I speak to more women waiting for their boyfriend to grow up than the other way around. Don’t get depressed. You just need to pick up on a few things about timing. Timing isn’t everything but it definitely weighs on whether you are going to wait for a guy to commit or not. A woman needs to know when she meets a guy and falls in love, if this is going to be worth her time or not. I have met women who have stayed in relationships for 15 years letting him do whatever he wanted. Then all of a sudden, he was ready and they got married. I have also seen that backfire. 

So I became curious about timing and noticed some pretty tell-tale signs that a guy is getting close to settling down.

Maturity – Some guys are more mature than others for many reasons. But maturity is very important. If they still see themselves with no ties or commitments to anything, then they probably have some growing up to do. Also, if his friends are settling down and getting married this could be an indication that his time is near.

Life Goals – If a guy is in his late 30’s, living at home, working a part time job, with no idea what he wants to do with his life…. RUN!  He is not ready to take care of anybody. He hasn’t figured out how to take care of himself yet. He might not have everything together yet, but he has to know where he’s going. Don’t hitch your wagon to a horse with no legs.

Experiences – Of course, I have seen people get married young and go through life, experiencing the ups and downs together. I feel a man is more capable of making decisions if he’s worked out some things himself through his own life experiences first. 

Circumstances –  Does he have his stuff together? Is he living in his married friend’s basement? Is he between jobs for the last 5 years? The answers to these and many more questions indicates his circumstances. The more comfortable he is with where he is, usually indicates how soon he will invite a permanent relationship into his life.

Love vs Infatuation – Love is real. If he is just infatuated with your booty, it will wear off. Infatuation is fleeting so make sure he is developing genuine love for the whole you.

Careers – Lets be real… Men define themselves by their career. If they are still not sure what they are going to do or aren’t excited about where their careers are going, they often forestall marriage endlessly in interminable relationships.  Conversely, if he starts to enjoy a little career success — a promotion, some actual stability, or a big break — their world is bright and they become open to all kinds of possibilities, including settling down. That’s when they get engaged to the girl they’re dating.

One thing to remember is everything happens for a reason. So enjoy your journey through life and know that we are all connected in many ways. If a real, mature, partner is what you seek, then work on yourself to become the mirror image of that. Then you will meet the perfect guy at the perfect time.

 

 

 

 

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