Mystery Of A Woman Decoded

I will be the first to admit that women are complicated creatures. I just read a girlfriend’s funny exchange on Facebook between her and her fiance. He asked if she wanted something for her birthday? She said no then said yes then said she didn’t want anything. He was like “what”? Hahaha. All the men that commented on this post were completely confused. It was clear enough to me, however I could definitely understand the confusion. Men say, why can’t she just come out and say what she means? Why is she playing these games? So as a way to clear up any confusion, I thought I’d explain the Mystery OF A WOMAN.

I hope these few examples will help everyone sleep better.

#1 Whenever you wonder whether you should get your girl a present or not for any occasion… the answer is always yes. If you ask her and she says no… it means, “if you don’t know that I want a gift then you are crazy. Go ask your married friend.”

#2 You’re on a first date. She offers to pay her half of the meal. What should you do? Please do not accept one red cent from her unless you don’t want to see her ever again. Your argument is “But she offered”. The truth is… “FOOL, It’s a TEST!”

The Preparation: She was excited to see you. She spent hours figuring out what she would wear and how to fix her hair. She took her paycheck, moved bills around, and ran around the city picking out the right outfit to impress you. She got her nails and toes done. She probably spent over $100 to look like she stepped out a fashion magazine. That gorgeous model you have on your arm tonight worked it. Now, she is showing you that she also knows how to act. She’s no one trick pony. If you invite her out with your friends she is also polite. So if you F it up and ask her to fork over her half of the money for the meal, now she is $110 into this date. You are only $10 in so you’re an ass. You get it?

#3 Men think that woman ask annoying questions. “What are you thinking?” “Why you so quiet?”

What men don’t know: Women spend an awful lot of time thinking about them. They think about what you did yesterday, today and what they want to do with you tomorrow. They think about the hairstyle that you might like. They find a nail color that you will find hot. They are busy thinking all the time. If you only knew how often they talked to their girlfriends about you because they can’t contain all the thinking to themselves. So if you are quietly chilling, they don’t get it. When they ask what are you thinking about and you say “nothing”… it makes no sense. “What do you do all day? Just sit there?”

#4 You ask, “What do you want to do tonight?” She gets frustrated that you don’t take charge of the situation. Here is what you don’t know.

ARE YOU A MAN OR A BOY?: Women are unconsciously trying to figure out if you will take care of her and her unborn children. It’s in her DNA. Even if she has no plans to have children, she still wants to see if you are man enough to BE THE MAN in her life. Otherwise, shit, she can buy her own kung pao chicken and find something to do with her girlfriends. She obviously doesn’t want to do that so she is seeing what you are made of.

#5 Women are always concerned about her future. “Where are we going in this relationship?” “What are we doing?” This is what is going on:

Women are way ahead of men when it comes to planning for any future event. Men are only thinking about immediate concerns… like right here, right now. Even if a woman is not saying it, she is thinking, when are we going to settle down? My eggs are drying up! Does he know how difficult it is to carry kids if I am 60? I am not going to last until he’s finished chilling. So, if a man gets annoyed that she is always concerned about her future, that is because you are not and you are killing her with that lack of concern.

There are obviously way more misunderstandings between men and women but I hope that these few common ones help!

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